.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
