Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
