I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
