i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
