I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
