lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize