Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
