i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
