saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
