let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
