Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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