She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
