i need an iv and a liver transplant
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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