He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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