we made out on top of his cat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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