R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we should paint friendship bongs
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