Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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