I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
