She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
