You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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