Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
