My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
