YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
