All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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