i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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