Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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