How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We left the knife in your bed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
