I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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