I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize