Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
