lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
