We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
