Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
