I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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