My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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