Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
