I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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