it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize