operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
