this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
