I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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