I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
