yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
soo... how was my night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
