that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
