so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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