She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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