Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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