We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
