I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
