I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
