I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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