I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm both gender and math confused
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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