She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
