yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
