Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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