Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize