I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
