i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm both gender and math confused
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
