The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
