I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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