The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
