Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
