I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize